So it's been said that having one child really doesn't make you a parent. Because having more tends to give you more experience. But I'd have to challenge that. Having only one child gives you more experience then you can imagine.
I'm not just mom. I'm a best friend, playmate and comforter. There is no "go play with your sister" when I'm frustrated and need 5 minutes peace. I can't just ignore those big eyes begging me to "please play with playdough with me". There are many things I've got to compensate for since it appears that as of now it's not in the Lord's design for me to bear my child a sibling.
I don't harbor any hate towards those who have been blessed with more then one child. I do however, wish the words "Only Child Syndrome" would be eliminated from their vocabulary every time my child has a tantrum or shows that she is upset. It's as if having more then one child is really gonna solve that issue. And on that note it never seems to occur to those who do perhaps maybe I'd like more and that it literally tears at my heart to hear you suggest I do so. Not to mention what it does to my child.
It's hard to explain to a child who isn't even at the mindset to completely comprehend to facts of life why mommy just can't pop up pregnant. Explaining perhaps that I was only meant to have her is greeted with "I'd like to have a brother or sister to play with." Maybe honey it'll happen. Until then you've got me.
I haven't a problem getting messy! I love playing with my child. It's Ok to me to take the time I'd like to have for myself to sit and cut paper dolls, face paint, make goo, and spend that time with my child that had I had more she'd be spending with them. I look at this situation and think about all I'd be missing out on had another child be thrown in the mix. Would she even come and ask me to play with her? Would I be the one she'd wanna make art projects and cookies with? Would she even have the time to spend with me?
These are questions that probably will never have an answer. For now it's just her, me and her father. That's our family. May not seem special to anyone but it is to me. I am grateful to God He's giving me this chance to share my love with one of His greatest creations....my daughter. You just don't know the joy I have in my heart for being blessed to be the mother of "only one child".
For every time I've been frustrated with needing time for me I reflect back on the memories I've created with my child. Sure, I could insist she let me be. But when I'm gone what do I want her to remember? Do I want her to remember the mother that pushed her away to watch a television program or the mother who said "Sure! What do you wanna play?" Do I want her to think about how I ignored her or stopped the book I was reading to read to her. Memories like that are irreplaceable.
As for now I will be more then content with being more then just a parent. I will treasure forever the day my daughter told me I'm her best friend. I will treasure the memory of every mess, paper doll, art project and more that we did together. My life became complete the day she entered my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Perhaps one day the Lord will see fit to allow me to bare another child into this world. Perhaps I will get a chance to experience these things over again and hear my daughter say "I remember when we did that." Then she will not feel to old to join in a goo fights or put her hands into cookie dough. Until then it's just me and her against the world and the world hasn't seen nothing yet.
I'm not just mom. I'm a best friend, playmate and comforter. There is no "go play with your sister" when I'm frustrated and need 5 minutes peace. I can't just ignore those big eyes begging me to "please play with playdough with me". There are many things I've got to compensate for since it appears that as of now it's not in the Lord's design for me to bear my child a sibling.
I don't harbor any hate towards those who have been blessed with more then one child. I do however, wish the words "Only Child Syndrome" would be eliminated from their vocabulary every time my child has a tantrum or shows that she is upset. It's as if having more then one child is really gonna solve that issue. And on that note it never seems to occur to those who do perhaps maybe I'd like more and that it literally tears at my heart to hear you suggest I do so. Not to mention what it does to my child.
It's hard to explain to a child who isn't even at the mindset to completely comprehend to facts of life why mommy just can't pop up pregnant. Explaining perhaps that I was only meant to have her is greeted with "I'd like to have a brother or sister to play with." Maybe honey it'll happen. Until then you've got me.
I haven't a problem getting messy! I love playing with my child. It's Ok to me to take the time I'd like to have for myself to sit and cut paper dolls, face paint, make goo, and spend that time with my child that had I had more she'd be spending with them. I look at this situation and think about all I'd be missing out on had another child be thrown in the mix. Would she even come and ask me to play with her? Would I be the one she'd wanna make art projects and cookies with? Would she even have the time to spend with me?
These are questions that probably will never have an answer. For now it's just her, me and her father. That's our family. May not seem special to anyone but it is to me. I am grateful to God He's giving me this chance to share my love with one of His greatest creations....my daughter. You just don't know the joy I have in my heart for being blessed to be the mother of "only one child".
For every time I've been frustrated with needing time for me I reflect back on the memories I've created with my child. Sure, I could insist she let me be. But when I'm gone what do I want her to remember? Do I want her to remember the mother that pushed her away to watch a television program or the mother who said "Sure! What do you wanna play?" Do I want her to think about how I ignored her or stopped the book I was reading to read to her. Memories like that are irreplaceable.
As for now I will be more then content with being more then just a parent. I will treasure forever the day my daughter told me I'm her best friend. I will treasure the memory of every mess, paper doll, art project and more that we did together. My life became complete the day she entered my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Perhaps one day the Lord will see fit to allow me to bare another child into this world. Perhaps I will get a chance to experience these things over again and hear my daughter say "I remember when we did that." Then she will not feel to old to join in a goo fights or put her hands into cookie dough. Until then it's just me and her against the world and the world hasn't seen nothing yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment