What More Could I Ask For?

So as I sit here on this Saturday stressing the usual....how we are gonna pay for things I bow my head to say a small prayer to get through it all. Seems the hurrier I go the behinder I get. My caring heart never seems to end me out on top. If I have two I give to another. But rarely I find that others have the same belief as I. Not that one should be a doormat as I so graciously have been accepting for myself over the years but it would be nice for others to do onto me as I have done onto them.

That thinking I know in my Christian taught heart is wrong. You shouldn't give if you expect a return. Charity is just that....an unselfish giving of ones selves to benefit someone who is in a worse place then you are. I know this but being human that jealousy bug tends to fly in my way and I can't help wondering why people don't view the world the way I do. It would be a far better place if we all did. But it's not for me to decide for everyone else.

Some how some way through simple prayer, a miracle you might say the bills all get paid and food is provided on the table. Somehow we all manage to pull it all together in the end. Yet I still find the stress there, it's evil presence always on my mind. I guess as a mother having it all put together is just in our blood. We want to know the who, what, where, why and how of it all.

My daughter has learned at a young age that there are times we just can't even imagine keeping up with the Jones. I feel at times it's a failure on my part. But then Lord guides me differently. He says that by teaching my child charity I am doing much more for her then if I were to be able to give her everything in the world. That she knows that love that comes with what I can provide and one day when she is grown that love I have shown and the sacrifices I've made for her she will carry on and make her a better person.

Every time I feel this way I stop and say a little prayer. I look at all I have, husband, daughter, home, car, food in my fridge and love in my heart and realize I am richer then most. Sure they can take their kids everywhere and buy them everything. But that will never take the place of the love I have for my child. She won't remember every toy she had or every trip we made. But she will remember all the love her mother had for her. That is something all the money in the world can't ever replace.

So as I'm thinking how I can't borrow from Peter to pay Paul I receive and email stating my child received a scholarship to Kids College at Penn State Schuylkill. A tear falls down my face. Just another one of His small miracles for me to see that it's gonna be OK. Sure we may not have TV, phone, or computers this week but there's a reason. Between VBS and Kids College she won't even be here to enjoy them. The bills will get caught up. The stress will be gone. And I'll go through it again next month. But we'll get through. We've got God. We've got each other. We've got love. What more could I ask for?